Summer break has been pretty good so far. I've been on one vacation already and I will be heading up to someplace along the North Shore on Sunday, June 27. Ed and I have remained friends since we split up and now that he is no longer engaged to be married he is going with me.
No, we are not getting back together...I love him dearly as a friend but thats it.
I love to go to the beach at Knife River Marina. I get up early in the morning and head down there and usually have the whole beach to myself.
Thats where I try to rid the sad, bad feelings from my mind...write 'em in the sand and watch the waves wash 'em away. Its always a 'soul soother' for me. My soul needs some soothing...big time! Here is part of the reason....
Katie will be going to the hospital on July 7th to be induced. The baby isn't growing like it should and the doc is a bit worried/very concerned. The baby, a boy, is smaller than he should be at this time. Her original due date was August then after several ultra sounds the due date was moved to July 29. Anyway, it looks like she will give birth to a 4 lb baby although the doc hopes he is at least 5 lbs by then. I don't know if the doc has an explanation for what is happening...if its from past drug use or if it may have happened no matter what. Either way, I guess I will be a grandma for a few days...until he is taken home with his adoptive family. I'm sure he will remain in the hospital for a while. Even though she is not keeping him its a hard thing to deal with in many ways...for her and for me. I think back to Kerry and Greyson...2 babies that were a part of my life for such a short time and now another. Don't get me wrong, I am not feeling sorry for myself....just expressing some thoughts. New pain always seems to bring back the old pain...I have learned to deal with it and also know that it never goes away completely. Hence the writing in the sand. I will need a big honking stick.
Deb
6 comments:
Katie called me yesterday and told me what was going on. I am upset because I will be in PA and will net be able to meet my newphew, like i did Greyson. I was really upset yesterday and Pat does not seem to understand. Granted, he is here for me, but will never know how I feel. He has no nieces or nephews... heck his family lives in 2 different states, 3 counting MN.
Deb,
I am truly sorry that you have to go this pain. It seems that you have had enough in life. I will write in the sand for you today, hope it helps.
Dave
Me too, Deb.
Ron
Thanks Dave and Ron....I appreciate it! Somethimes for me, a simple symbolic gesture can work miracles.
Love you guys.
Deb
Deb,
You are a wonderful person who has gone thru some difficult challenges and you have been an inspiration with how you handle and get thru your tough times. You are in our thoughts all of the time.
Thanks you two...it means a lot to see the things my sibs say. I really am doing fine...was just getting things off my mind. I know things will get better.
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