I have had to say Goodbye a lot these last few days. There is absolutely nothing good about saying goodbye. As a matter-of-fact, it pretty much sucks. I have said goodbye to my Pastor, who is an awesome friend, (moving to Wisconsin), I have said goodbye to numerous kids whom I have watched grow up, like Lollie, Sarah and Taylor, all friends of Mandy's who will be leaving for college. I have said goodbye to Mandy, who has left for college and starting of her adult life. I have actually openly cried a lot this last weekend, Kris too.
I remember when I left home. I knew that I would not be coming back. I knew that I was headed away and would keep going on with my life. I have visited and called and stuff, but I never really came back. That is the feeling I got when I said goodbye to Mandy. She'll be off living her life enjoying, being, loving, but far away, just like I did. It seemed so final. I know her life is going to be so full and I am so very happy and sad all at the same time. I will hear about things happening, not get to witness them, I'll get pictures or video, not actually watch it unfold in front of me. I'll visit and get a snapshot of her life, not really participate in it. I know that I will be proud of all she accomplishes in life.
Maybe I am being melodramatic. I don't know or care right now. I just know it hurts and I miss her already.
Jessy will be back next week. What an adventure she has had! She will be living here for a few months, getting back on her feet and getting ready to attend college in Illinois. I am really going to enjoy these next few months before she goes off to her next adventure. They are all adventures for Jess! I have no idea how I will react when she leaves, not well, no doubt. I am amazed at the depth of passion she has for the disenfranchised, marginalized people of the world. Her heart is so big and I know she will always be helping someone.
Zach is next...who knows where he will be in 2 years. It will be unique with just me, mom, and Zach home. I am eager to see our relationship change and grow over the next few years. He is growing into a fine young man and I am proud of him.
Kris and I will soon have the luxury of redefining our relationship as our kids grow and move. I am looking forward to the time we will have to rediscover some things that all parents put on hold to raise their kids.
Dave
Aug 16, 2009
Aug 2, 2009
What I have been doing this summer
I went camping and hiking with Debbie and had a blast, we left on a Thursday morning and came home on that following Sunday. I showered only once can you believe that? The first hike we went on was about 4 miles and I learned I was a little out of shape, I usually blame that on my arthiritis. The following day was the big hike I think all together around 12 miles, It was a moderate to difficult trail haha, I would say more like medium to difficult, there was climbing up sides of mountains (well at least to me it was) like at 90 degree angles, mind you I am terrified of heights so I don't know for sure if it was that bad, there was a lot of big hills etc... I did freak out at one point and had a little anxiety attack, Debbie at first thought I was joking around but realized that it was not a joke and calmed me down. Half way to the mountain we were hiking to my legs were saying why are you torturing me? I said to them because Debbie walks/hikes like the energizer bunny, I seriously don't know anyone who could keep up with her. At one point she did turn around and asked me if she was walking too fast, I chuckled to myself and thought did she just ask me that? as a matter of fact I am laughing right now.
The next day we slowly walked around Two Harbors, the breakwater & the beach where we were skipping rocks and I am the master.
The reason why I say slowly is because I could barely move, everytime I got up from a sitting position I had to fight my body from collapsing. It was actually a little funny. I am so glad that I got away, it does the mind, body and soul good. I don't think I have ever laughed so much in my life, Debbie is really funny. I am hoping to go again next summer with her, but I don't know if I could do the big hike again depending on my knee.
Jamie and I decided to cleanup our upstairs deck, we washed it with mold & mildew cleaner and I was so suprised that the would was blonde colored, it was black. We stained it and it looks awesome. We still have to paint the railing put up lattice. Jamie is going to figure out how to put more of a roof over the top of it. I then get to make a little sanctuary, kind of like Ron's in his backyard, unfortunately I won't be able to grow the big trees and stuff, but I think ya get the idea. I now have to go camping again so I can get some rocks from the beach, Debbie did get some and I thought she is nuts but that is besides the point. hahah.
Other than that had the fourth at mom's, slept at Debbie's and had a fire, she makes a good fire. I am looking forward to Keith & Danielle's wedding and her bachelorette party.
I am going to go have lunch with Kathy Madison in a couple of weeks, I have not seen or spoke to her for close to 20 years.
The boys have been working a lot, I don't see much of Tyler he usually leaves when he gets home, it sucks cuz he is leaving between Aug 24th and Sept. 1st. Mom and Don did find a campground right by Fort Sam so at least he will have some family by him. Jamie and I will be going down there when he graduates from AIT. I do believe it will be in Jan.
Signing off now.
Love Jodi
The next day we slowly walked around Two Harbors, the breakwater & the beach where we were skipping rocks and I am the master.
The reason why I say slowly is because I could barely move, everytime I got up from a sitting position I had to fight my body from collapsing. It was actually a little funny. I am so glad that I got away, it does the mind, body and soul good. I don't think I have ever laughed so much in my life, Debbie is really funny. I am hoping to go again next summer with her, but I don't know if I could do the big hike again depending on my knee.
Jamie and I decided to cleanup our upstairs deck, we washed it with mold & mildew cleaner and I was so suprised that the would was blonde colored, it was black. We stained it and it looks awesome. We still have to paint the railing put up lattice. Jamie is going to figure out how to put more of a roof over the top of it. I then get to make a little sanctuary, kind of like Ron's in his backyard, unfortunately I won't be able to grow the big trees and stuff, but I think ya get the idea. I now have to go camping again so I can get some rocks from the beach, Debbie did get some and I thought she is nuts but that is besides the point. hahah.
Other than that had the fourth at mom's, slept at Debbie's and had a fire, she makes a good fire. I am looking forward to Keith & Danielle's wedding and her bachelorette party.
I am going to go have lunch with Kathy Madison in a couple of weeks, I have not seen or spoke to her for close to 20 years.
The boys have been working a lot, I don't see much of Tyler he usually leaves when he gets home, it sucks cuz he is leaving between Aug 24th and Sept. 1st. Mom and Don did find a campground right by Fort Sam so at least he will have some family by him. Jamie and I will be going down there when he graduates from AIT. I do believe it will be in Jan.
Signing off now.
Love Jodi
Jul 12, 2009
Lou Gherig's Disease
Hi all,
It is now just two weeks until I ride in the ALS DoubleDay Bike ride to support my friends Jeff and Marilyn Leer. I teach with Jeff, and he and his family found out about 9 months ago that Marilyn has ALS. He is a young guy (my age) with 2 young kids.
For the first time in my life I am doing a fund raising effort for someone other than myself. It feels good and I'm looking forward to the 85 mile bike ride too.
Our team is now a dozen members with a fundraising goal of $250 each. Our team (Marilyn's Army Too), combined with the original Marilyn's Army team could be the major fund raiser if we can all reach our target. I'm asking for any help to reach my goal of $250.
Below is an update from my friend Jeff on Marilyn's condition. It has gone so fast! I have included a link if you wish to make a pledge to my ride. Even $5 bucks would help.
Thank you and love to you all!
Ron
Some days just suck. This was one of those days. We got home from the ALS clinic after Marilyn's all day appointment with heavy hearts. The news was not good. Her respiratory tests showed what Marilyn had been feeling. Her lung capacity has gone from 65% to 28%. We have noticed a big difference in the last few weeks. She needs to take many breaths to finish talking now. The disease seems to be progressing rapidly and the test results bore that out. Our meeting with Dr. Ravits was heavy and dealt with end of life issues. We are to have a family discussion and meet with him next Wednesday. We have to decide if Marilyn will have a feeding tube put in. Her test results are lower than they would like in order to perform this procedure. If it is to be done, it must be done quickly. We also have to decide on what, if any, breathing assistance Marilyn will choose. Heavy issues and heavy hearts. But even in dealing with this, my wife is thinking of others. Dr. Ravits said he could meet with us next Wednesday at the end of the day. Mare asked him if that would be too much for him after a long day. He just smiled, amazed that this lady was worried about him and not about the news she had just received.
Prior to the appointment, Carmen and Lynn had taken Mare to the bathroom. Marilyn's right leg likes to slip and go to the side. While in the stall, her foot did just that and there was someone in the stall next to her. The girls remembered Senator Larry Craig and his bathroom escapades where he was accused of trying to hit on the person in the stall next to him by tapping his foot near the other stall. They started cracking up as they wondered what the other person must have been thinking. To make the story even better, the person in the other stall turned out to be our physical therapist. We had a good laugh at that one. It eased the awkwardness of the news of her tests.
The ALS Ride is a little over two weeks away. We have so little control over our lives right now. Pouring ourselves into this ride allows us to feel like we are doing something. Marilyn has been asked to speak at the PALS (Person with ALS) dinner. It is quite an honor. The other day, the Skagit Valley Herald came out and interviewed Mare and took some pictures. Her story will be in the Thursday edition 7/9/09 of the Skagit Valley Herald. It will be great press for the ride which has not received any press in the previous 8 years of the ride. We are currently 2nd in total money raised (when we add both our team and the "Marilyn's Army Too" which is the team from my school riding for Marilyn) and tied for 1st in total team riders. We would love to be first in both. I want to thank all of you that have sent us checks (2124 S. 15th St. Mount Vernon, WA 98274) or donated online.
How to pledge:
1. Log on to the official ALS DoubleDay Bike Ride and Fund Raiser web site:
http://webwa.alsa.org/site/PageServer?pagename=WA_Bike_event_info
2. Click on “Team List” from the menu at the left
3. Click on our team, “Marilyn’s Army Too” from the list of teams.
4. If you wish to join our team and ride, click on “Join Team” and follow the prompts
OR
5. If you wish to sponsor a rider, click on the name of a team member you wish to sponsor.
6. Click on the “Sponsor Me” tab and follow the prompts.
It is now just two weeks until I ride in the ALS DoubleDay Bike ride to support my friends Jeff and Marilyn Leer. I teach with Jeff, and he and his family found out about 9 months ago that Marilyn has ALS. He is a young guy (my age) with 2 young kids.
For the first time in my life I am doing a fund raising effort for someone other than myself. It feels good and I'm looking forward to the 85 mile bike ride too.
Our team is now a dozen members with a fundraising goal of $250 each. Our team (Marilyn's Army Too), combined with the original Marilyn's Army team could be the major fund raiser if we can all reach our target. I'm asking for any help to reach my goal of $250.
Below is an update from my friend Jeff on Marilyn's condition. It has gone so fast! I have included a link if you wish to make a pledge to my ride. Even $5 bucks would help.
Thank you and love to you all!
Ron
Some days just suck. This was one of those days. We got home from the ALS clinic after Marilyn's all day appointment with heavy hearts. The news was not good. Her respiratory tests showed what Marilyn had been feeling. Her lung capacity has gone from 65% to 28%. We have noticed a big difference in the last few weeks. She needs to take many breaths to finish talking now. The disease seems to be progressing rapidly and the test results bore that out. Our meeting with Dr. Ravits was heavy and dealt with end of life issues. We are to have a family discussion and meet with him next Wednesday. We have to decide if Marilyn will have a feeding tube put in. Her test results are lower than they would like in order to perform this procedure. If it is to be done, it must be done quickly. We also have to decide on what, if any, breathing assistance Marilyn will choose. Heavy issues and heavy hearts. But even in dealing with this, my wife is thinking of others. Dr. Ravits said he could meet with us next Wednesday at the end of the day. Mare asked him if that would be too much for him after a long day. He just smiled, amazed that this lady was worried about him and not about the news she had just received.
Prior to the appointment, Carmen and Lynn had taken Mare to the bathroom. Marilyn's right leg likes to slip and go to the side. While in the stall, her foot did just that and there was someone in the stall next to her. The girls remembered Senator Larry Craig and his bathroom escapades where he was accused of trying to hit on the person in the stall next to him by tapping his foot near the other stall. They started cracking up as they wondered what the other person must have been thinking. To make the story even better, the person in the other stall turned out to be our physical therapist. We had a good laugh at that one. It eased the awkwardness of the news of her tests.
The ALS Ride is a little over two weeks away. We have so little control over our lives right now. Pouring ourselves into this ride allows us to feel like we are doing something. Marilyn has been asked to speak at the PALS (Person with ALS) dinner. It is quite an honor. The other day, the Skagit Valley Herald came out and interviewed Mare and took some pictures. Her story will be in the Thursday edition 7/9/09 of the Skagit Valley Herald. It will be great press for the ride which has not received any press in the previous 8 years of the ride. We are currently 2nd in total money raised (when we add both our team and the "Marilyn's Army Too" which is the team from my school riding for Marilyn) and tied for 1st in total team riders. We would love to be first in both. I want to thank all of you that have sent us checks (2124 S. 15th St. Mount Vernon, WA 98274) or donated online.
How to pledge:
1. Log on to the official ALS DoubleDay Bike Ride and Fund Raiser web site:
http://webwa.alsa.org/site/PageServer?pagename=WA_Bike_event_info
2. Click on “Team List” from the menu at the left
3. Click on our team, “Marilyn’s Army Too” from the list of teams.
4. If you wish to join our team and ride, click on “Join Team” and follow the prompts
OR
5. If you wish to sponsor a rider, click on the name of a team member you wish to sponsor.
6. Click on the “Sponsor Me” tab and follow the prompts.
Mam Te Rad!
Hi guys, this is Jessie again. Thought I'd check back in, since I'm on the other side of the world and my dad insists that you're all interested! hahah.
So far my trip has been good! I've had the chance to see almost all of Prague, the most beautiful city I have ever seen. It really is spectacular, the whole city is made up of four to six level buildings with the prettiest arcitecture [sp?] ever. They're all side by side. It's definitely artsy, and original in it's own way. I've taken a billion and two pictures, and you can go see my myspace or facebook and see them in the albums I've posted!
I also went to Berlin, Germany yesterday. It's the first time I've been back since I was like... two! I showed my passport, which says that i was born in Germany everywhere I went, and I either got a discount or free stuff. So it was totally worth it. hah. We jumped on a tour buss that drove to all the big sites all over the city, we could jump off, and hang out, and then another bus would pick us up in 15 minutes. The best parts were definitely the Holocaust memorial, and Checkpoint Charlie, I've included pictures of both at the bottom of this!
As for life at the center... It's non stop. No lie. Every day we are working all day, daily house chores and building things, I get messssssy.
The biggest thing we do is our "Coffee House Ministry", It's like a street ministry. Four days a week we send out two teams, one walks the streets and the other goes to the homeless villages. I've done both, and both are insanely depressing. I wrote about the street team last time, now the village ministry. There's a huge, abandoned apartment building that about 20 families live in. It is the dirtiest, nasties, smelliest, most satan possesed place i have ever been in. It stank of "a sun roasted mixture of vomit, dehydrated urine, and rotting garbage".
Yes, I just quoted myself from my journal. The Autobiography of an Amazing Girl.
I didn't eat for the entire night and next day. I have never seen anything else like this before, there were thousands of flies, really, flying everywhere. To the point where we had to duck down not to inhale them. The first room inside the door was stacked over our heads with garbage. The stairs were either covered in mud or poop, i couldn't decide which it was. I wasn't breathing through my nose after that first whiff almost made me pass out.
We made it upstairs to where a family was living. I didn't know whether to cry or throw up when I saw the kids rooms, with neatly made beds with one dirty stuffed animal on each, and football sized rats running from our feet. This room was also filled with swarms of flies, and the corners with old needles and the little plastic bottles their parents get their drugs in.
There are 20 families that live in that building, and another 10 or 15 that live behind it. They bunker down under old raised rails for trains from the trainstation. There is a little "living room" area made up of broken and rotting chairs around a fire pit. There is nothing but garbage of the worst kind, feet deep, for at least 100 yards in any direction.
I've never seen anything like this in my life. Most people haven't. It's reall ythe kind of stuff you see on TV, on those cheesy commercials asking you to send money to Africa and stuff. Actually, I think it was worse. These guys don't need money, all it would do is fuel their drug and alcohol problems. They need God.
I don't really know what can drive someone to this point, but that is thanks to my parents. I was raised well. Don't worry Grandma and Grandpa, you bred my dad good. I thank Jesus every day that I never fell into drugs. I think that God gave me a special place in my heart for people who have, though. I didn't know why i was here until i got the chance to go to this apartment complex. I've also got a few pictures attatched below.
Thanks again, to all of you who contributed to my trip. Please keep me in your prayers! I have to run now, I don't have the privledge of unlimited internet access.
I would not trade this summer for the world.
Looking into one of the rooms in the apartments
Under the rails, the living room
Jul 5, 2009
*Great Get Away
My trip up to Tettagouche Stae Park was amazing! We hiked parts The Superior Hiking Trail. On the night we got there we put in about 4-5 miles, the next morning after a hearty breakfast we left camp at 8:30 and hiked all day. The trail started out as easy walking but the side trips we made to some overlooks got a bit rough in spots. I saw the most amazing sites from some of them but Mt Trudee won hands down!! I took some video from my digital camera and I will try to figure out how to get that here also. It was so windy on the top that the wind almost knocked me off my feet...Ed just happened to be taking a picture when it happened so you will see me in an odd stance. I was trying to catch my balance to keep from falling.
The pictures are in photo bucket album Tettagouche State Park. Some have titles, some do not.
Deb
The link is below.
http://s289.photobucket.com/albums/ll235/thejohnstonfamily_bucket/Tettegouche%20State%20Park%20Deb/
The pictures are in photo bucket album Tettagouche State Park. Some have titles, some do not.
Deb
The link is below.
http://s289.photobucket.com/albums/ll235/thejohnstonfamily_bucket/Tettegouche%20State%20Park%20Deb/
Jun 27, 2009
*Getting Away
Summer break has been pretty good so far. I've been on one vacation already and I will be heading up to someplace along the North Shore on Sunday, June 27. Ed and I have remained friends since we split up and now that he is no longer engaged to be married he is going with me.
No, we are not getting back together...I love him dearly as a friend but thats it.
I love to go to the beach at Knife River Marina. I get up early in the morning and head down there and usually have the whole beach to myself.
Thats where I try to rid the sad, bad feelings from my mind...write 'em in the sand and watch the waves wash 'em away. Its always a 'soul soother' for me. My soul needs some soothing...big time! Here is part of the reason....
Katie will be going to the hospital on July 7th to be induced. The baby isn't growing like it should and the doc is a bit worried/very concerned. The baby, a boy, is smaller than he should be at this time. Her original due date was August then after several ultra sounds the due date was moved to July 29. Anyway, it looks like she will give birth to a 4 lb baby although the doc hopes he is at least 5 lbs by then. I don't know if the doc has an explanation for what is happening...if its from past drug use or if it may have happened no matter what. Either way, I guess I will be a grandma for a few days...until he is taken home with his adoptive family. I'm sure he will remain in the hospital for a while. Even though she is not keeping him its a hard thing to deal with in many ways...for her and for me. I think back to Kerry and Greyson...2 babies that were a part of my life for such a short time and now another. Don't get me wrong, I am not feeling sorry for myself....just expressing some thoughts. New pain always seems to bring back the old pain...I have learned to deal with it and also know that it never goes away completely. Hence the writing in the sand. I will need a big honking stick.
Deb
No, we are not getting back together...I love him dearly as a friend but thats it.
I love to go to the beach at Knife River Marina. I get up early in the morning and head down there and usually have the whole beach to myself.
Thats where I try to rid the sad, bad feelings from my mind...write 'em in the sand and watch the waves wash 'em away. Its always a 'soul soother' for me. My soul needs some soothing...big time! Here is part of the reason....
Katie will be going to the hospital on July 7th to be induced. The baby isn't growing like it should and the doc is a bit worried/very concerned. The baby, a boy, is smaller than he should be at this time. Her original due date was August then after several ultra sounds the due date was moved to July 29. Anyway, it looks like she will give birth to a 4 lb baby although the doc hopes he is at least 5 lbs by then. I don't know if the doc has an explanation for what is happening...if its from past drug use or if it may have happened no matter what. Either way, I guess I will be a grandma for a few days...until he is taken home with his adoptive family. I'm sure he will remain in the hospital for a while. Even though she is not keeping him its a hard thing to deal with in many ways...for her and for me. I think back to Kerry and Greyson...2 babies that were a part of my life for such a short time and now another. Don't get me wrong, I am not feeling sorry for myself....just expressing some thoughts. New pain always seems to bring back the old pain...I have learned to deal with it and also know that it never goes away completely. Hence the writing in the sand. I will need a big honking stick.
Deb
Jun 23, 2009
*Joey's 'Pal'
It was really nice to visit Ron, Tia and the boys...we had them all to ourselves and were able to do a lot of catching up. Joey is full of energy and exuberance! He is the cutest little guy and reminds me of Ron when he was that age.
Joey has an 'interesting' relationship with a chihuahua that lives down the street. Let me explain.....Joey had been walking around the neighborhood; doing what I am not sure. He hadn't been gone very long when he came running back into Ron & Tia's backyard. He grabbed his bike helmet, put it on and then armed himself with his squirt gun. I heard him say something about a dog but I didn't catch all of it so I asked him what he said. His reply "I'm going to kill someones dog". I guess the dog had run towards him barking. I can't remember if I told Ron or if he heard it but he dutifully followed Joey down the street. They went down there but the dog apparently didn't react at that time or it didn't see them. I walked out to the street to see them both coming back. Ron stopped to talk to me and Joey rode a few feet further, turned around and headed right back to..yep, you guessed it...the dogs house. OK...so now you can pretty well figure out what happened next. The dog saw Joey and ran after him but this time it did not stop....it chased him down the street, past Ron's house to the other end of the block. Thank goodness they live in a cul-de-sac!!! Unfortunately by this time I had left the scene but I heard the commotion coming from the street. I could hear Joey yelling and a dog yapping...you know how those little dogs sound. Ron informed us that Joey came speeding down the street with the dog in hot pursuit. He was screaming "Dad, help me!" Ron said Joey's legs were just a pumpin' those pedals and with the momentum the bike was moving back and forth sideways...(know what I mean by that?) Ron couldn't understand why his dog didn't come to the rescue but Tia had told her to "stay" for fear that their dog would make a snack out of that chihuahua. Later on Joey told Ron "You're my dad...why didn't you help me?" or was it "...You're supposed to help me". maybe it was "....Why were you laughing at me".
Ron will have to correct any misinformation here or add something I may have missed. Joey makes me think of Dennis the Menace. No, Joey is not a menace but Dennis always seemed to get into little incidents and could never stop moving.
Luke is getting big and he is adorable. He didn't seem to mind the two strangers that came to see him.
The visit was great and I would never have been able to go if it weren't for Mom & Don. I had just started summer vacation and Mom didn't want to fly alone so she took me with her. Don had to stay home for work. It was wonderful to smell the cedar trees and see the mountains. If I had driven out there I would have come home with a trunk load of Mother Nature's cast-offs.
Deb
Joey has an 'interesting' relationship with a chihuahua that lives down the street. Let me explain.....Joey had been walking around the neighborhood; doing what I am not sure. He hadn't been gone very long when he came running back into Ron & Tia's backyard. He grabbed his bike helmet, put it on and then armed himself with his squirt gun. I heard him say something about a dog but I didn't catch all of it so I asked him what he said. His reply "I'm going to kill someones dog". I guess the dog had run towards him barking. I can't remember if I told Ron or if he heard it but he dutifully followed Joey down the street. They went down there but the dog apparently didn't react at that time or it didn't see them. I walked out to the street to see them both coming back. Ron stopped to talk to me and Joey rode a few feet further, turned around and headed right back to..yep, you guessed it...the dogs house. OK...so now you can pretty well figure out what happened next. The dog saw Joey and ran after him but this time it did not stop....it chased him down the street, past Ron's house to the other end of the block. Thank goodness they live in a cul-de-sac!!! Unfortunately by this time I had left the scene but I heard the commotion coming from the street. I could hear Joey yelling and a dog yapping...you know how those little dogs sound. Ron informed us that Joey came speeding down the street with the dog in hot pursuit. He was screaming "Dad, help me!" Ron said Joey's legs were just a pumpin' those pedals and with the momentum the bike was moving back and forth sideways...(know what I mean by that?) Ron couldn't understand why his dog didn't come to the rescue but Tia had told her to "stay" for fear that their dog would make a snack out of that chihuahua. Later on Joey told Ron "You're my dad...why didn't you help me?" or was it "...You're supposed to help me". maybe it was "....Why were you laughing at me".
Ron will have to correct any misinformation here or add something I may have missed. Joey makes me think of Dennis the Menace. No, Joey is not a menace but Dennis always seemed to get into little incidents and could never stop moving.
Luke is getting big and he is adorable. He didn't seem to mind the two strangers that came to see him.
The visit was great and I would never have been able to go if it weren't for Mom & Don. I had just started summer vacation and Mom didn't want to fly alone so she took me with her. Don had to stay home for work. It was wonderful to smell the cedar trees and see the mountains. If I had driven out there I would have come home with a trunk load of Mother Nature's cast-offs.
Deb
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